A day spent in thought.

Today seems like it's going to be one of those days when you just feel the need to inventory your life. A day when you question all your life's decisions and wonder what the meaning was behind each one that you made. Well, for me I am in this day, ready to evaluate where I am and where I am heading. So long ago I have given up being a person who was selfish and wantful because I had my children so young. I made every decision based on how it was going to affect them. In doing this though I feel I have cheated myself somehow and now have lost sight of who I really am. I let go of my "I wants" and replaced them with "what they need". So 21 years after the birth of my first child I am now finding that there are things that I really want out of life that I haven't been afforded before. These things though, I am realizing, are such a dramatic turn from where I am at right now that I find it kind of scary to even be wanting them at my age. Anyhow, here it goes. Maybe saying them out loud will make it more reality. I want to know that I have raised three children up to be prosperous, generous, loving, kind, and respectful adults. I want to know love like no other where there is no pity or shame in feeling that way towards someone or that someone feels that way about me. I want to help others and give back through a medical career so that I can be happy of what I accomplished that day. I want to be a woman that is able to stand on her own two feet without feeling insecure or lonely or helpless. I want to be a powerful influence on my grandson and teach him the important things about life. I want to be a role model for all those that I encounter in my life, giving hope that things really can change. Well, anyway, those are just the tip of the iceburg of things that I am finding in my heart today. Writing this has been uplifting and I feel a bit more at ease with my quest for happiness. Thank you for reading. Dance as if no one's watching...Sing as if no one's listening...Live as if there's no tomorrow!