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Today has been a difficult day. It seems that there is no end in sight to the insanity going on in my life. I feel as if I am on this roller coaster that never stops. There are moments when I am completely happy and at ease then there are those moments when I am feeling stressed and tense. I wish on days like this there was a manual available to just open up and turn to a page and suddenly you just know how to get through it all.

I have left myself completely open to be hurt and taken advantage of for so long that it sometimes feels like I don't even know how the other side of that is supposed to feel or if even in fact what I am experiencing now still isn't that. I have never been one to hurt people's feelings by any means, but lately somehow that's all I have been doing. My kids, my friends, and my life I feel that I have just abandoned it all. I feel like a fish out of water because I am not taking care of everyone and making sure that they are happy and all of their needs are met, but instead I am sitting here in my selfish little life...

I suppose the saying stands true, "You are your own worst enemy", but it still sucks nonetheless. Tonight I will pray a little longer and try to work through all the garbage because this is driving me nuts!

Goals for tomorrow...
1. make a conscious effort to not hurt anyone's feelings
2. be kind to myself
3. let the ones that I love know that I love them
4. put one foot in front of the other and breathe